(Source: pyrexvisean)

stereolights:

It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips.

Do not settle for less than exactly what you want. Your heart’s desires are there for a reason. Chase them. Pursue them relentlessly. Do not lose sight of your goals. They are your very reason for being.

Franki Durbin (via perfect)

(Source: longlivejava)

—

xhulk:

cunttacular:

cali01:

cunttacular:

Why the fuck don’t I have a fairly odd parent?

Maybe you did but you didn’t need them anymore, so they erased your memory like they normally would.

Mindfuck

spiderlillian:

drama that i’m not involved in

psychofactz:

More Facts on Psychofacts :)

(Source: deathisnoexcuse)

lushella:

 ♡ rosy & bubblegum blog ♡ 

(Source: samanthalalalove)

How rape trials should go:

Lawyer: Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but she was drunk and passed out.
Lawyer: That's not what I asked. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but she was wearin-
Lawyer: I didn't ask what she was wearing. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but-
Lawyer: I didn't ask anything else. It's just a simple yes or no answer. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes.
Laywer: Yes, he raped her.
Rape is rape is rape, no matter the context.

15hypens:

in 7th grade we had this german teacher who immigrated to america from Germany about 23 years ago and one guy in my class thought it would be funny to ask him “Hey, because you’re german does that make you a Nazi?” and in a very thick german accent he replies “Hey, because you’re a white american boy, does that make you a slaveholder?” and the kid never tried to be funny in that class again

itsexclusive:

(Source: tibetanpoptart)

svveetlemonade:

mfandcjforever:

svveetlemonade:

i wish i lost weight as fast as i lose motivation 

i agree bethany

who the fuck is bethany

icouldntfindanyotherusername:

fucking-tom-hiddleston:

k-lionheart:

continualsanitynotlikely:

If this gets 3 million notes I’ll make a dress out of these

And wear it to the nearest major city 

SIGNAL BOOST AND IF IT GETS TO FOUR MILLION YOU’VE GOT TO MAKE A TIARA THAT MATCHES.

YOU’RE GONNA REGRET PUTTING THIS ON TUMBLR

OMG I’VE NOT BEEN THIS EXCITED SINCE THE FLUFFY CHICKEN POST

jan0ski-x:

Urban blog here

(Source: drugera)